Don't Buy This Stuff (6)

It's been a while since we've put together a list of travel items you absolutely shouldn't buy. So here we are. In the past, we at Seven Seas Worldwide, your trusted experts in international shipping, have been quite straightforward with you - if you buy any of the featured items from this series, you probably need a close friend or a therapist to disconnect you from your laptop and teach you about personal finances.

However, this time we've found some reasonable purchases for your next journey abroad. We say 'reasonable'; they're still essentially luxury items you could spend your whole life being untroubled by, but they're not as ludicrous as that 'tent-in-a-coat' thing whatever it was.

So here goes.

Do you wear contact lenses? Are you forever looking for a suitable place to store them? Oh you have disposables. I see. Well, ignore this bit then. Introducing the Glasses Contact Lens Case. Shaped like a pair of retro black wayfarers, this novelty item is perfect for looking after those sadistic discs of irritation that made me fork out for laser eye surgery some years ago.

Continuing the optical theme, those purveyors of quality goods, "I Want One of Those" have brought out the Immortal Camcorder Sunglasses. Quite what makes them 'immortal' is unclear. I'm sure if I stamped on them enough times, this selling-point would be a hollow one. Nevertheless, the Immortal Camcorder Sunglasses are like a primitive version of Google Glass in that they allow you film people without them knowing. Naturally, we at Seven Seas Worldwide do not condone this behaviour and believe it to be both reprehensible and a bit creepy, so just stick to holiday vids, please. Also, we must make a quick note of the wonderfully retro word 'camcorder' in the name. It conjures up images of those VHS things you had to perch on your shoulder.

Next is the handy language-in-a-pocket device, the Franklin 12-Language Global Translator. Yes, according to Time Magazine's list of must-have travel purchases this year, there's still room in the market for an electronic translator. However, it appears to me like the sort of contraption a city boy from 1987 would have balancing on top of his Filofax as he drove his Porsche 924 to a wine bar to have some other 1980s cultural reference.  But you know, it could be handy I guess.

And now, from Reef comes the Stash Sandal, a fashionable piece of footwear that can also conceal your valuables in the sole. Of course, the popularity of such an item will just mean thieves go straight for the sandals.

But that's for a future blog post.

Oh, and if you do load yourself (and your suitcases) down with all this sort of stuff, don't forget we have a first class excess baggage service that will help you get it from A to B. Or B to C. Or wherever.

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